Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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