i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
