I think i peed on brittanys purse
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My balls are so social today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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