it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
