Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
and i looked up. we had an audience...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize