We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
birth control should be required to get into college
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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