Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
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