Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
