is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
