Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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