Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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