I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize