the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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