i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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