I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
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how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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