So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
The air taste purple.
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