bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
