Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
