i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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