I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
