i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He passed out mid-signature
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
