I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
