I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
