she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
