forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize