running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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