she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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