I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
