Porn is love you can see.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
