She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
