dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
