Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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