dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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