this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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