I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
