i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize