Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Randomize
