You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
