So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
