I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
COCAINE IS GR8
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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