I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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