ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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