why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
