lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
