so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
