You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's official drugs can't kill me
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
