I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
