idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
