Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
