His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
