remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Randomize
