Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
