you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
is it fun? or sober?
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