Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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