apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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