That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
