fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
being pregnant is like rehab
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
